We had hoped to spend more time in Turkey, but my Great Croatian Knee Adventure changed our timeline so that we got only two and a half days in Istanbul. Luckily, Dwayne and I are great with half days!
Of all the places we got to explore, I rated Instanbul as “Most Exotic”. Not only does it straddle Europe and Asia, but it has …. Turkish baths. Sigh of happiness.
We had an excellent location, Europe-side, just a few blocks from Galata Tower. (I had never heard of it, but I mention it so I can find it again when we return.) Dwayne and I took our half-day to wander down by the waterfront and figure out public transportation, that, like Washington State, includes lots of ferries. We figured it out in enough time to be only 10 minutes late for our first family tour–a walk-and-taste tour on the Asian side of Istanbul. And the views were pretty great.
I had scheduled a full-day tour for Wednesday, which turned out to be a half-day too long. Again, think hard before signing up to be besties with new guide for a day, especially when you have no choice in who shows up. However, we mostly got to do most of the must-sees, and got a bonus.
First, here’s my take on the history of Istanbul-not-Constantinople. When Constantine chose this city to be made the new seat of the Roman empire, he left Rome to the popes (and you see where that got the world). The western Roman Empire petered out not long afterward, but the eastern Byzantine Empire lasted another thousand years, eventually losing out to the Ottomans. Dwayne and I wondered how THE EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE (aka, the Byzantines), who had not been conquered for 1400 years, lost to the Ottomans. Kyla, with 1 semester of AP World History and a brain for the why of things, was able to explain to us that the Ottomans had superior use of gunpowder. No surprise, she was right.
Here’s an important thing about the Ottomans: they had sultans. Sultans were just like emperors, kings, pharaohs, medieval popes, and orange presidents: self-serving and dictatorial. Mostly this meant lavish lifestyles in decadent palaces wearing splendid clothes while being tended to by yes-men, a word which until recently, didn’t need to be de-genderized. Perhaps the biggest difference between sultans and other patriarchs is the wearing the turbans (instead of other funny hats) and ostentatiously reading the Koran, instead of pretending to read the Bible.** And sultans lived in places like Topkapi Palace (at least until it got boring and newer, bigger, better palaces were built):
Welcome to the Palace! 
It’s a little hard to capture the scope of the estate, but here’s a model. Many of the rooms are not open to the public, but what was on display was fun to see. 
The wax figures show some of the more important yes-men servants. I believe one’s sole job was turban care. 
A throne. (There seemed to be many thrones, so I’m not sure if there was a “the throne”. 
The Islamic architecture of honeycomes, geometric shapes, narrow pillars under arches, and intricate designs is still exotic to me. 
You can nap here, your majesty. 
Another throne. 
Yet another one. 
One does not have to travel far from daybed to throne. 
There are special rules to reading and handling of the Quran. One is not to place it directly on the floor. 
Those wax models are wondefully literate! 
Ah! The treasury boasts the Spoonmaker’s Diamond, an 86 carat (plus the surrounding stones) jewel. 
Probably the star of a dozen Indiana Jones-esque plots, the Topkapi Dagger probably is neither very stabby or very wearable, so zero for two on the usefulness scale. 
Okay, Hadrian of my Heart–I bet your third sword was something like these. And yes, Mom and Dad, you really do need to read the frolicky, epic Riyria Revelations by Michael J Sullivan. Hadrian is a *very* acceptable literary crush.
We also visited the Hagia Sophia, the Holy Wisdom, an Eastern Orthodox church-cum-mosque-cum-museum-cum-mosque** again.
The Hagia Sophia is mostly a large open space, with previous Christian icons/art covered in with Islamic (well, Arabic, but you know what I mean) gold calligraphy. 
We made it 113 days of travel before Kyla and I had to don headscarfs. 
Yep, that is definitely my “F*ck the Patriarchy” face and gestures. 
For some reason, some of the Christian art was left outside some entries. 
We had hoped to explore the Blue Mosque as well, but it was closed for renovations. But that gave us more than enough time to visit something not on the Top Ten tourist sights–an old city cistern that does subterranean laser shows.
We were not tired of Roman architecture! And remember, this was built to be under water, not a spot that could be seen by anyone. 
I loved feeling “underwater” with the lights. 
This can’t be a laser show–maybe a light show? A projector show? I loved it! 
This is both the modern Turkish flag as well as the last Ottoman empire flag. 
The shadows almost stole the show from the light.
Not counting food, we fit in one more adventure that day. We went to the Grand Bazaar, which Wikipedia describes as 1) one of the world’s most visited attractions and 2) one of the largest and oldest covered markets. It is listed as having 61 streets and 4,000 shops, accomplishing being both superlative and superfluous simultaneously. Turkish delight, tea, and a few casual necklaces are all that hopped into the shopping bag that day before us introverts got overwhelmed. We then “just stopped by to use the restroom” at a Turkish carpet emporium, which felt like an ambush by both our guide and the salesman. I did turn down the beautiful rock-bottom-priced $5000 carpet because, well I’m not sure I need a reason to not bring home a large, expensive rug, no matter how plush and beautiful.
In 1.5 days, we hit Istanbul pretty hard. We have just another day and a half before flying home. What other trouble could we get into, one might politely ask….
*I really don’t think I’m being too harsh here.
**It was reverted back to a mosque in 2020, signaling that Turkish secularism is on the decline in this “religious” strongman throwback era. I have feelings.
Needopedia 