The Annual Christma Drivel

Dear Family and Friends,

I am thrilled to celebrate this season where we set out a colossal kitty water bowl and then stick a tree in the middle of it. This year, after uninstalling Twitter and Instagram and still refusing to touch Facebook, I saved all my [ahem, smug] social vomiting for this annual letter, which you have full permission to toss without me ever knowing.

2022 was a big year for us! In addition to finally getting to do our Big Adventure, Dwayne celebrated 25 years at Microsoft and 20 years of marriage (to me, I think), we paid off our home of 19 years, and we haven’t misplaced any children, gladly. Or cats. Sadly.  

Oh, Ecuador! We’ll remember you fondly next time Piper gets so bitten by mosquitoes that we end up in a hospital many, many hours from the closest electric grid.

It was while we were in Ecuador last December that it started seeming possible, even likely, that our Try It Again Trip would happen. Even in the excitement of Quito, Dwayne and I would sometimes look at each other and mouth “six weeks”—the subtext being “we’ll need to panic soon”. And, to understate the amount of work this involved, we packed suitcases, withdrew the kids from school, and in February, flew from Seattle to shiny Dubai, where we began a 4-month journey through Africa and Europe.

Dubai is too good to be true and was a great kick off to 3 weeks in Kenya, a country with almost no Venn overlap with the UAE. We spent most of our time in Kenya safari-ing. In Nairobi, the girls adopted a baby elephant without their cats’ permission and we all took our first swim in the Indian Ocean. Then we checked off our Egypt and Jordan bucket list items, while the youngers had nearly fatal ennui at the Giza pyramids. Between Ecuador and Kenya, we straddled the equator twice—and were amused by identical scams at each.

I now know the difference between the Pantheon and Parthenon. First off, they are in different countries.

From Jordan, Cyprus was the entrance to our exploration of the Mediterranean, which in addition to our northern African travels, gave us a touchpoint into most of the Roman Empire, through France, Spain, and Italy (with Vatican bonus). Dwayne, Kyla and I hiked the Italian Cinque Terre, where we came across the moniker “expert excursionist” that I want to adopt as a life motto. Leaving the Boot, I changed into sandals, because Slovenia, Croatia and Greece charmed my socks off! We ended by straddling Europe and Asia in Istanbul before flying home.

Here’s the thing about traveling Americans: we’re loud, friendly, easy-going…and generally tip well, making sure that fellow countrymen get warm welcomes around the world no matter how terrible our manners.

I am incredibly grateful that English is the most popular 2nd language in the world; our monolingual selves were able to navigate 14 non-English speaking countries because so many others bothered to learn another language or four. This was particularly useful when Piper and Wes stopped going out with us on anything I had to label “I will enjoy this enough for the both of you”. That twinge of guilt was quickly drowned out by the realization that everyone was happier this way. Piper and Wes called a full truce when left on their own, and Piper would decide where to go and carry the money, and Wes would do all the peopley stuff.

Our Big Trip only took up one third of the year, so we’ve embarked on other adventures back home, which mostly involved regular life and avoiding positive Covid tests.

Seemingly overnight, Wes matured from an infuriating imp whose motto could have been, and I quote, “I don’t like anything” to a pleasant-ish almost-13-year-old who we love hanging out with. Before we left last winter, he enjoyed “sipsies” of Dwayne’s morning coffee. By Sicily, he was ordering his own afternoon cappuccinos. He also has turned a corner with school, as he gets himself to the bus before the rest of us are out of bed and enjoys all his classes, even recommending a book for me that he read in English. (It may, ahem, have been the first book he’s read in years. I’m glad he liked it!) He is particularly engaged in his CAD class and wants to take as many tech and parkour classes as he can. I definitely enjoy a creative Wes over a destructive one!

Piper engaged in the trip through animals and cooking classes—which still left her plenty of time while traveling for developing abject misery. She never, ever, never wants to travel again, with a tiny possible exception of another safari. Wholly unrelated, she’s 14 this year. When she gets to do what she wants, she is absurdly delightful. Fortunately for me, one of the things she wants to do is take over the cooking and baking—I stepped out of the way so quickly, a hurricane brewed in the Carolinas. She’s a freshman in high school this year and wishes homework didn’t take so much time away from crocheting riveting hats for our gargoyle, Ernie. In addition to cooking and crafting, Piper has found a calling for volunteering in the 3’s Sunday school class at church.

If Piper is the one we broke on the trip, Kyla is the one who thrived. She joined Dwayne and me on almost all the tours and explorations, and thanks to paying attention in all her classes, could actually tell me the what and why of what we saw. She’s also the one who will always jump into any blue lagoon with me. As Kyla points out, you won’t remember tomorrow how cold you were today. She is my favorite let’s-do-something-stupid adventure buddy. From berry picking to advanced math, and metal design to Middle Eastern desserts, Kyla is like Dwayne in that she will need several lifetimes to explore all the things that interest her. One of her (and everyone else’s!) favorite things about this year was having Cousin Esther stay with us for the summer. 

If Dwayne ever leaves me, it will be for an older model, made of marble, mortar, and generous arches. This summer, he did a drone survey of our property that sounds expensive for our future. He was inspired by Greek temples, Roman arches and fountain extravaganzas. I’m crossing fingers that the project stays in the drafting phase indefinitely, but it was a known risk when we traveled to witness what scheming men with slave labor could accomplish architecturally. 

Yeah, I still lose the “Does Denise like beer yet?” game.

Wes called me “Momstrosity” this year and of all the labels I have—substitute, small business owner, tutor, volunteer—this one is my favorite. Not because I love my kids that much, but because it’s a particularly clever wordplay. Ah, Wes gets me, he really gets me. More than reading (and apparently my family), I love adventuring. Dwayne and I could have lived out of our luggage for many more months. So it was quite the wake-up call to return home and have two properties and an RV with 4 months of backlogged maintenance needing me–and a minivan that promptly fell apart when I washed it for the first time in 3 years, proving my hypothesis that it is held together with love and dirt. I embrace it all for this age and stage, but someday I will own so little that I can live large. In the meantime, I adorably spreadsheet all the books I read (see blog for my ’22 favorites), play, and work, and dearly love all the peopley parts of my life, of which you, dear reader, are one.   

Happy Christmas and Merry Everything!

Denise, for Dwayne, Kyla, Piper, Wes

Denise’s Favorite Reads: 2022 Edition

~Because good fiction makes us better humans and these are some of the best.~

TitleAuthorDenise’s summarily poor summaries
1An Elderly Lady Is Up To No GoodHelene TursteinOh, dear. “Maud is an irascible 88-year-old Swedish woman with no family, no friends, and…no qualms about a little murder.”
2Crownchasers (and the sequel Thronebreakers)Rebecca CoffindafferAs soon as I started, I couldn’t put down this YA sci-fi with exactly the female protagonist I want to adventure with.  Great characters, a puzzle-chase, hilarious AI, it has all the things I love about Sanderson’s Starsight series and is still very much its own story.
3The Diamond EyeKate QuinnKate Quinn. Again. Why would I be interested in a Russian assassin, even if she’s female? Because Kate Quinn wrote it, and it might be my favorite Quinn novel–which sets an impossibly high bar for her books I haven’t yet read.
4It Ends with UsColleen HooverAfter seeing this author’s name everywhere, I picked up this must-read. Why do we stay with abusers, the author asks to understand her own mother’s life, and are abusers more than their abuse? And what if he’s fun, interesting, and mostly good?
5Lessons in ChemistryBonnie GarmusAnother book that is in everyone’s Top 10 this year. How does a brilliant woman in the 50’s become a chemist? Well, after years of being mocked, dead-ended, assaulted, etc, she falls into having a popular TV cooking show, using chemistry. If I could summarize the book well with one sentence, the book wouldn’t be worth reading, so know that there is much more to it than this.
6Liar’s KnotM.A. CarrickBook 2 of the Rook and Rose trilogy. My perfect escape: a fantasy adventure with a deceptive female character who is uber-competent and creative, and fascinating complex characters who have to create a third way when there only seems two options…it checks all my boxes.
7The Lincoln HighwayAmor TowlesThis sort-of road trip story confounded my expectations at each bend and introduced me to some of the most intriguing characters, even as male teens, that I have read this year. Neighbor Sally is my spirit sister. It was perfectly plotted and prosed.
8The No ShowBeth O’LearyMy fellow bibliophiles snatch O’Leary books as soon as they are published. Any book that takes me on a journey where I know I’m going, and then completely drops me on my head and makes me read the entire book again–right away–is my drug of choice. 
9Part of Your WorldAbby JimenezThese are not your grandma’s bodice rippers! Jimenez (like Helen Huang) definitely writes meet-cute-and-figure-it-out-from-there novels, but the romance is only a part of it. What are the real obstacles, what emotional baggage must be dealt with, who gives up what, is it worth it, what about careers and families? It is both mundane and impossible and very real.
10The Rose CodeKate QuinnKate Quinn continues to be my favorite historical fiction writer, though she is more like a time machine. Here, she takes you to the WWII code breakers desperately deciphering Enigma and its Axis siblings. The reader tramps all the way around Britain, and as well as up and down the emotional scale.

Sure, I left out Sullivan’s Farilane, Gaiman’s Good Omens, and Picoult’s Leaving Time, but I (painfully) narrowed down my ten favorite novels that I read in 2022, which gives me a little room for some delightful YA and worthwhile nonfiction:

YAThe Remarkable Journey of Coyote SunriseDan GemeinhartFrom the Sasquatch YA list. A young heroine for the ages.  Full of truth bombs and beautiful souls, as a young teen has to make it back to Washington, the only state that her dad won’t drive to.
YAPay Attention, Carter JonesGary D. SchmidtSasquatch YA nominee. I really enjoyed this book about a butler, a middle school cricket team (in NY), a sibling death, and a walk-out jerk father.  Many layers.
YAWhat I CarryJennifer LongoMuir was born into foster care and she hopes this is her last placement before turning 18.  However, instead of Seattle where she has been all her life, she is moved to Bainbridge, carrying only what fits in her suitcase, and refusing extra baggage, including relationships. So full of truth bombs, and feelings, and bittersweetness, this is a YA book that gave me all the feels.
 NF 1Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the CrematoryCaitlin DoughtyLet’s talk about death. And the death industry. And how much Americans don’t like talking about death. I learned much about what we don’t talk about—and now just want to be composted into a tree.
 NF 2Attack of the Teenage BrainJohn Medina Okay, I needed this perspective of the teenage brain.
 NF 3When Breath Becomes AirPaul KalanithiThe rarest of humans (neurosurgeon with degrees in philosophy and English lit) gets the rarest diagnosis and poignantly writes about dying as a young man.
 NF 4UntamedGlennon DoyleA third time read, I get something new each time I pick up St. Glennon. She started as a funny mommy-blogger but shifted into a hilarious truth telling warrior. Her spiritual peers are Brene Brown…and perhaps that’s it.
 NF 5How Jesus Became GOD: The Exaltation of a Jewish Preacher from GalileeBart D. EhrmanI love new thoughts and perspectives and Ehrman writes a readable scholarship as he details the journey of Jesus from crucified prophet to complicated God.
 NF 6Fuzz: When Nature breaks the lawMary RoachHow do humans deal when animals are just being animals and it inconveniences, and sometimes endangers, us?
 NF 7Fair Play: A Game Chang-ing Solution for When You Have Too Much to DoEve RodskyWhat is all the invisible work and why, really, why do women do so much of it? Dig deep, and then deeper. This gave me both words for what I do and a way of thinking about it. 
NF 8 Invisible WomenCaroline Criado-PerezSubtitle: Data bias in a world designed for men. Need I say more?
 NF 9The Persuaders: At the front lines of the fight for hearts, minds, and democracyAnand Giridharadas“We meet a leader of Black Lives Matter; a trailblazer in the feminist resistance to Trumpism; white parents at a seminar on raising adopted children of color; Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez; a team of door knockers with an uncanny formula for changing minds on immigration; an ex-cult member turned QAnon deprogrammer; and, hovering menacingly offstage, Russian operatives clandestinely stoking Americans’ fatalism about one another.”  Ideas burst, my brain explodes…all in a good, aha! way.