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Day 51
[Note: Our school district’s first official day of Don’t Enter the Building was Thursday, March 5th, which became Day 1 on my calendar. Wired puts it at March 11th, but that magazine probably doesn’t have kids in my neighborhood school.]
This week, my experimental parenting of “I’ll support you in whatever ways you ask for, but your teachers are giving you to-dos, and I’m trusting that you will DO them” philosophy went to shit. Yes, shit. So today started with me throwing Piper in the shower, taking away her jammies, setting her up at her desk and not in her bed, for period 5, the first class on Fridays. Then, making sure she was actually Zooming at 9am, I got to see her face when she realized that she hadn’t even thought about the project assigned a week ago that was due today. That was probably less drastic than my face when I saw she hadn’t done ANY of the assignments since approximately Day….2. I’ve been forcing her to keep up with math and English and assumed the others she could manage. I don’t like to be the literal motherboard that all brains under this roof must plug into, but the consequences in which Piper will supposedly learn her lesson probably won’t be obvious for several years, and the bad habits will really be ingrained by then. What Piper learned is there is no lockdown like a Mama lockdown.
Kyla’s not doing great either. She focused on a really cool science project and a lot of books and gardening last week and went from being ahead in math to behind. Really behind. You know who you can gain 10 pounds in one [ahem, really amazing!] weekend, but need at least a month to lose it? While, keeping up with classes is just like that. This is the online algebra course done outside the school so we could, you know, travel around the world, and she could start geometry next fall. Ironically, she will probably be the most prepared math student next year returning to class…if she catches up.
Guess what? This Saturday isn’t a weekend for the girls.
Oddly, the day turned out surprisingly well. For speech, Wes and I played a new board game. I think the point is to say “red”, “green”, and “orange” a lot, but I’d rather just play (by “play”, I mean “win”) the game rather than have another conversation with the kid I’m around all day. But somewhere, I got the giggles. So when Wes somehow simultaneously tripped over the coffee table, the couch, the pillow, and his own container of pistachios “accidentally” covered in honey, I laughed. And when he started doing his death scream over his scratched ankle, well, dear reader, I howled. I held him after I grabbed an icepack so that I could continue silent hysterics behind his back. The girls quickly caught it too, and when I eventually pulled myself together, I found him in his room, feelings and ankle hurt, but not irrevocably. 
Piper, in lockdown on her pre-tech assignments, had finished the one due today and started working the Rube Goldberg assignment, where she made a tea-making machine for me. It was actually great fun and led to a few rabbit trails. First of all, we watched a few youtube videos on remarkable Rube Goldberg machines–this one most impressed me, and even more so hours later, when Piper completed her 5-step machine.
Here’s what we’re calling Take 10:
Family Antics
Happy Easter, from both Denise and the Evil Easter Bunny
We have hosted Easter for so many years (2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2016, 2018, 2019) with the exception of the year that we got a stomach bug the night before and just packed up the dinner for others, we kind of only knew one way to celebrate. After mixing our personal and religious observations with family secular traditions, we would host a dinner and egg hunts for all the family and friends we could gather to us. Every single year, it both stressed me out before and brought great pleasure during and after.
This year was going to be different; we would be with Dwayne’s brother, Dan and his wife, Deborah, and a few crew, as we traveled up an Amazon tributary. Perhaps I would have tried to purchase chocolate bunnies for everyone in our day in Manaus before boarding, but we wouldn’t have been able to add the Evil Easter Bunny to our luggage, and I don’t think we would have found any churches accessible either by geography or language. It was going to be our own restart.
But we got another restart instead. What if it is just the 5 of us for Easter, just a third, or even fourth, of our usual? What if we still celebrated, the religious holiday, or silly traditions, and ourselves?
It was an amazing day.
I came up with a bacon, bread, and blueberry breakfast to eat while we watched the service on youtube live. Then the Evil Easter Bunny hid the bunnies with clues of where the baskets were hidden. Dwayne got to learn that we keep the extra airfilters in a box on top of the wardrobe in the mudroom. All these years, and he was unaware….much to EEB’s knowledge and amusement. 

While we were still dressed up (yes, Wes considers himself well dressed in black polyester pants–because they are uncomfortable enough to be dressy, but not torturous like, gasp!, jeans–and the sweater Grandma knitted 4 or 5 years ago), we brought fresh bouquets to my aunt’s homecare and we were able to wave and shout hello from the sidewalk. Then we did the same for my parents, but got to stay much longer chatting from the lawn to the front porch. Grown ups are invariably boring, so my feral children wrestled together, much like I picture young wombats would intoxicated on spring sunshine.
The kids surprised us with another egg hunt. They had found the camouflaged eggs–ones made to look like grass, rocks, etc– and filled them will little drawings and love notes and ordered us to find them.
Then we turned the tables, brought out a dose of the EEB, and hid the camo eggs so well that they were hunting them while we made (“made”, thanks Costco!) our Easter dinner. Salmon and lamb, veggies, and no deviled eggs. Since the kids don’t eat hardboiled eggs, we let our first Lent go by without dyeing eggs, and maybe I’m hardboiled myself, but I didn’t particularly miss (mess!) it.
Books Read in the Last Two Months
First of all, this is truly a well done memoir. Its whole title is “How I Lost my Mother, Found my Father, and Dealt with Family Addiction”. This is one I have to keep for a while from the library, because I want my kids to hear it, too. It’s a book well written for both generations. It’s probably even worth my mother reading it!
Just a Day in this New World

Wes had a Lego class before school that switched to online Zoom meetings to conclude. On Friday, as a bonus project, Wes made a self-portrait. I thought the exercise was interesting, but I am not very good at abstract art. Wes says he is wearing sunglasses and his hair is covering up one of his eyes.
Later, Dwayne and I went for a walk. As is the rule, we cannot do a family activity that all 3 kids want to participate in. Wes was the full-body pouter this time. But if you look closely, you’ll notice all the kids are wearing headphones and listening to music or a story as we walk. This both annoys me and makes me glad that Dwayne and I can chat uninterrupted. And it gave us extra entertainment as we walked home as Wes started boogying to whatever he was listening to, oblivious to the world around him. That kid loves to dance!
A new tree has fallen across the path in the last week. No bear was caught underneath.
Oh, Patient Kyla! Wes loves being Wesley-sized–he can jump on anyone and just hang on like the tumor he is. Kyla encourages this.
Marching Out
Wes built a weapon holder out of scrap wood.
Non Voyage*
This morning, we should have caught the o’dark early flight to Lima, via Atlanta.
We would have started our adventure with a night in Lima, Peru, and maybe seen the amazing fountains in the evening.
We wouldn’t have much time before heading to the Nazca Lines for three days, but these are some of the local sights the hotel boasts of. I’m kind of interested in the macabre skulls and burials.
We will make it eventually, as the trip has only been postponed for months or a full year. Earlier this week, we officially canceled the African leg (Safari in Kruger National Park, Cape Town, Egypt & Jordan tour), and are waiting for our SE Asia itinerary to cancel on us, so we lose less money. If anyone can predict the next 4 months, you know better than I if we can at least make Australia, NZ, and Fiji and take Dwayne’s vacation time in Oceana as already scheduled.
Even though my suitcase is not unpacked, I’m not feeling too morose about it, as it the new normal has eradicated my trip mindset, and now we are living a lifestyle that is diametrically opposed to what we planned for this spring.
*Brilliant title must be fully credited to Georgia Y, teacher, bibliophile, and friend extraordinaire.
If You Give a Pig a Paintbrush….
Hopefully you have had the pleasure of reading Laura Numeroff’s picture book, but basically all of them are about how one idea leads to another, exhausting, idea.
It really started when Dwayne thought we should really fix the peeling ceiling in our shower. Of the 3 showers in the house, the kids prefer ours, and occasionally one of them feels the need to spray the entire shower with water. For the second time in ten years, I scraped, mudded, textured, primed, and repainted the ceiling. And that is almost impossible to do without also doing some of the wall. So I repainted the bathroom, walls, trim, and door. And no reason to put up the ugly wicker shelf that I got used twenty years ago–the only thing holding it together was dust and cobwebs, so we bought a new cabinet. And shower head (incapable of spraying the ceiling). And faucet. And non-rusty caddy. A good scrubbing, and the bathroom was done, just as the kids were entering their second full stay-at-home week. Honestly, her room has bothered me for years and so we came to an agreement. She wanted to get rid of the wardrobes, get a smaller dresser, and paint the room purple. To make that happen, she had to shed a lot of crap. If she could do that, we would find a craigslist dresser of her choice, paint the room together, and Dwayne and I would take out the wardrobes–its own Herculean task.
I will never forget, in spite of my best efforts, of teaching Piper to paint a room. (She started by putting paint on the roller, using her hand a spatula.) But she looked so darn cute wearing a set of my paint clothes!
We started Wednesday removing the wardrobe, and by Friday night, the room was put back, carpet shampooed, and touch ups completed. She loves it, and I really appreciate how much less stuff she kept. In fact, along with the wardrobe, we were able to deliver her outgrown toys and art supplies and dresses to a single mother with foster kids, in addition to the Ikea wardrobe we no longer needed.
That project pretty much used up my project energy, but Dwayne still had a little more. The gaps in our beautiful kitchen floor are a results of not doing the entire upstairs remodel at one time, and needing to use click-in planks instead of glue-down–and of course, of actually using the kitchen. No other place gets that much foot traffic, and a board in every row was gapping significantly.
Of course, this time it wasn’t as easy to just take off the trip closest to the gap and crowbar it into place, as the flooring went under the very intractable pantry. After some head-scratching, Dwayne thought using friction, a large mallet, and his foot to close the gap one plank at a time over about 20 feet of flooring. But nothing he tried held well enough. Finally, he turned to his friend, Bing, and found that others had used double-sided sticky tape. Eureka! While I was shampooing carpets (because the shampooer was out, and that pig still had that darn pancake), he fixed the floors and knows how to do it in another few years when they spread out again.
Day 20: Three Insights that Have Resounded with Me during "Stay At Home"
And the people stayed home.
And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply.
Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.
And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed to images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.”
~Kitty O’Meara
NPR had a newsletter with a blurb I identified with right away: Anyone else failing miserably at homeschooling their kids? We started out very Dumbledore, but now we’re definitely heading toward Snape — maybe even a little Umbridge.
Kids learned from Snape, right? Potions, DADA, and maybe some regular life lessons about unfairness and mean adults.
And something a both Profane and Profound:












































































